There is more to a thank you than just the words.

I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to write about this week but inspiration struck at the mailbox. We received a thank you from a wedding we attended back in June. Personally, I think thank you’s should go out within a month, but I do understand in the case of weddings it can be longer. Regardless, the lack of sincerity didn’t end with the timing of the message. The card was a photograph of the couple with a preprinted “thank you for sharing our day” message. No handwritten note, not even our names were written on the card/picture. For that matter even the envelope had computer generated labels. It felt so insincere and impersonal that it was more insulting than not receiving a thank you at all.

Now, you may wonder why I am mentioning this in a business blog. I thought it is very important to share because even in business a thank you needs to be more than just words. People can sense when gratitude isn’t sincere. Think about thanks you have received. It feels very different when it is warm and sincere then when it is a hastily muttered acknowledgement. One example that quickly comes to mind was a project I worked on. At the request of my manager at the time, I spent a month compiling and analyzing a segment of data. When I presented my work, the neatly organized binder of information was tossed it on a pile of paperwork. The manager barely said thanks and it was never touched again. Wow – can you feel the warmth there?! Not surprising she was one of the worst managers I have ever encountered.

It won’t hurt to add a little warmth. It won’t hurt to acknowledge someone’s efforts. It will hurt when you clearly aren’t sincere. It would have been better for that manager to have said, “Thank you so much. I know how much effort you have been putting into this and I will review it with you as soon as I possibly can.” Then maybe I would be referring to her as one of the best managers I ever worked for, instead of the worst.

Also, going back to the timing issue, don’t withhold thanks. Be prompt in your acknowledgements. Delays will only add insincerity to your message. If someone makes an effort for you, be quick in your effort to thank them.

Finally, remember that sometimes what happens in your personal life carries to your professional career. If either the bride or groom ever approached me for a job or referral I would really have to think about it. They were insincere and that doesn’t make for good business acumen.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”